1 Peter 3:8-12 cautions us with these words. “8 Finally*, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 9 Not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto* called, that ye should inherit a blessing. 10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: 11 Let him eschew* evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.” (KJV)
Yeah yeah! I know where this is going. Don’t yell at my spouse. Show sympathy. Don’t be vindictive. Watch my mouth. Resist the urge to be mean because God is watching, and I do not want to be the one caught slipping and be labeled as evil. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy... And then you get married.
I laugh when people who have known me for quite some time ask how did I get delivered from my former single self. I laugh for two reasons. One, I can’t say that I actually have been fully delivered but more so have an understanding. Two, I know how difficult (and that’s putting it lightly) I was when it came to relationships as oppose to where the power of the almighty God has me today. Oh, I was not one to be wooed easily. In fact, The Taming of the Shrew is one of my favorite Shakespearean comedies if that tells you anything. I wasn’t literally an oldest bitter daughter, but I may as well had been according to my outlook on holy matrimony and its representatives at the time.
So what does this scripture mean? What did I miss before marriage? What do we, many churches, forget to remind our hopeful young love birds during premarital counseling? Here is my personal mystery that God solved. I willingly share it with you in hopes that it will help you to move into a better understanding of how to love your own spouse. Dad will get you where you feel the most accountable.
Jesus asked as well as answered a very important question in Matthew chapter 12. Verse 48 reads, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” In His answer is where I found mine in verse 50. “For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother”. Now, during my deliverance, God asked me several questions. The most important part of the conversation went something like this. “So, if I give you a mate, who is your husband?” Reluctantly, I gave all of the rehearsed spiritual answers. I was reluctant because I didn’t believe any of them, and guess what? He knew that! I would love to entertain you with all the paths He took me down to get to the revelation, and it is entertaining. However, that will come at a later date.
My answer is that my husband IS my brother, first! Wait a minute! Whoa! Did she just say...? This thought may be hard to fathom because of today’s current family structure. (Keep in mind, we are the people who declare that civilization began with Adam and Eve, so...) In the spirit, my husband is my brother, first! If we are all God’s children, how can he not bear this title? That means he is looked upon as the righteous even when I choose not to see him as so in the natural. Not to mention, as a believer, would I have married an evil doer intentionally? No. Then, who is my husband? The righteous, and the eyes of the Lord are over my husband, and His ears are open unto his prayers too!
I didn’t get it right away, but I trusted in the marinating process. What I felt, He eventually revealed to me. To start, I knew enough to know to be “nice” because God was watching. And He honored that effort. During the early dating phase, my husband showed me what goodness looked like before I could take my training wheels off that particular bike. I remember when I asked him why was he so good to me so soon in our relationship. I felt we had not been together long enough for the way he treated me. Why did he trust that I would appreciate him so soon? Well, he didn’t, but his answer made my light bulb go from dimly lit to a hot brightness! “Because you are God’s favorite daughter, and I will not treat you any less than how He sees you.” He trusted his Father, not me. He understood that he was called to bless me, and in turn he would be blessed for it. (Boom!)
Does this mean we are always good to each other? The struggle is still very real because that is the nature of the flesh. Nevertheless, this is where we feel the most accountable to our Father in our marriage. It is because of this understanding I do not want my Father to see me as evil because I forget who my husband is to Him, first. So, it is in my best interest to be of good constitution and nature, pleasant and agreeable, upright and honorable to my brother whose same Father is in heaven watching and listening.
This is purely God’s family structure that we seem to understand when it comes to the church setting. But who makes up the church family? Brothers and sisters. Why do we use these titles in church in the first place? Does that change because we become husband and wife? When church members date, does the title change? So, why should it when you marry one of your brothers or sisters... in Christ?
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Just a little birdy and fish about the Father's business. Helping to better the world one blog at a time.