“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (Proverbs 25:28).

This is one that is always good to “digest” more than once. Self-control is the art of putting what’s best ABOVE what we want. This can be hard in marriage. Especially, when we come from single or previously married lifestyles of repeatedly acting on those impulses and desires or customarily receiving them. It has been my experience that most of us are aware, from the gate, that this behavior is selfish and destructive to our attitudes and environments. Environment, meaning current physical location. That can be home, work, hanging with friends, visiting relatives, etc. We want what we want when we want it! The mindset is, “No one will remain calm or comfortable as long as I am not!” Hey friend! Wherever we are when allowing this behavior to take us over, we cause damage. That is the blunt truth of it all, no matter how much we justify the behavior. Lack of self-control is not appealing to anyone. It could contaminate what is left of your life.

You may wonder why we picked the banana as a visual for this particular characteristic. Simply put, it is a very unassuming yet calming fruit with many  benefits hiding within it, like humility. And since we felt that there was no one way to view this gentleness, we decided to discuss at least two important perspectives to help demonstrate its practicality in marriage. So, take a quick break to enjoy this fruit.

Often when we hear the word “faithfulness” in marriage, we immediately default to the meaning of being exclusive in our sexual relationships. Being faithful simply means he or she will not cheat by having sexual encounters with anyone other than their spouse. This is true. On the other hand, I learned that this mindset goes beyond physical sex. In fact, it begins before the altar. I avoided marriage for years because I was unsure of the faithfulness of my partner, and at times myself.