The Foundations of A Marriage
I have been a fan of Dr. Myles Munroe since one of my best friends introduced him to me in college. She put me down on the “Purpose and Power of Man” and the “Purpose and Power of Woman”. I just have to say that those were simply the bomb.com. Seriously, if you aren't familiar with them they are AWESOME to read… Nevertheless, she is currently in medical school, and she sent me this YouTube video of Dr. Myles Munroe speaking about singleness in marriage. It BLESSED ME, so I wanted to share a few points that I gained from it.
Now, you might be thinking, "Singleness in marriage? That doesn't seem right." But, go with me for a minute. First, Dr. Mile’s stated that "relationships get better the more single you become!" In my mind, I was like OMG!! WHAT?! (but in a good way lol). The way I understood his statement was not to be selfish in a relationship, but to more like the following description in the scripture that addresses this very thing. In 1 Corinthians 7:32 the Word says, "But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord."
"He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord!" If relationships get better as we become more single-minded as the scripture describes, then it would seem that in our singleness our only desire is to please the Lord (or at least it should be). Basically, we should engage in our marriages with the same yearning as the unmarried person desiring to please God! If our priority is to please the Lord as described in 1 Corinthians, then our focus is on making sure that our actions are pleasing to the Lord in our marriage. This approach leaves less room to focus on what our spouse is or is not doing. It also helps us to react differently when situations don't go the way we expect them to because our focus is on PLEASING GOD rather than who’s right or wrong!
What a revelation!! We can be “single” in marriage and focus on the things of the Lord! For instance, we can be a better person, we can love better, or we can forgive better. This is key when handling our spouse in our relationship. Being single before marriage, and now within marriage is vital. If applied properly as in the scripture, it allows both husband and wife to be the caliber of the person we want in a marriage. How? It’s reciprocal if both parties are “single” in truly wanting to please God. In other words, be the person you would like to be married to!! I was so EXCITED! But, it got better.
Then, Dr. Munroe went on to speak about the foundations of a marriage. He discussed a home and the importance of the foundation. He compared this to the man. He explained how oftentimes a home is held up by the foundation although it is not always seen. (Real men do not need to brag. You just see the stability of the home.) What many people see is the arrangement of the home which he likened to the woman. He then expounded on the importance of what you cannot tangibly see; however, the importance of the foundation is to carry the weight of various dimensions of any home. Most people see the exterior of the home without recognizing the importance of the foundation that supports everything that makes it a home. More importantly, just as Jesus is our spiritual foundation, the men must also be our foundations in marriage. It is their job to uphold the structure (women) of the home!! So, how much more should we maintain our own walk with the Lord in order for us to be in our rightful place/role in marriage!
Finally, at the end of his sermon he ended with a demonstration about the man's role in marriage as the protector based on the story of the creation of man and woman. He had two people (man and woman) to assist. He spoke about how God created the woman out of man and she was made out of his side. She was not made from his back or behind the man in subservience to him. Conversely, in his demonstration he placed the man in front of the woman so that she was behind him. He talked about how when troubles come and knock the man over, (Dr. Miles pushed the man and he stumbled into the woman almost knocking her over.), then he inevitably destroys the very thing he was meant to PROTECT. Then Dr. Miles had the woman move from behind the man to the front of him near his side and pushed her so she would stumble instead. (And that is when I lost it!!! In a good way. LOL). Instead of stumbling over the woman, he CAUGHT her! He protected her!
His demonstration served to show me two things. First, our relationship with Christ is one of the most important things that we need to cultivate prior to entering into a relationship with someone else because we must first be able to walk with HIM to know how to walk with him (and by him I mean our husbands). Secondly, the thing is knowing the importance of our roles as husbands and wives. Too often people have simply made the comment that women are simply to submit to their husbands without understanding that in order to submit to a man they must first be able to trust the man. Likewise, in order for men to truly cause a woman to WANT to submit to them, they have to earn the woman's trust. The only way to do that is to walk with God as a “single” man, and learn what it takes to please God. In turn, he will learn what it takes to please his spouse! In a nutshell, the man's role as the foundation of the home is important because it will be his job to cover his wife and bear the weight of the family even in difficult times. However, the woman’s role is just as important as the structure that COVERS the foundation of the home when the storms come!!
I hope this blessed you as much as it blessed me. In the case you would like to get some nuggets for yourself, here's the link to the video I watched!
Just words from my heart,
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