My heart is broken. It breaks for all those who have lost someone near to their hearts within the last few days and it breaks for those that I have lost over the years. Over time, you begin to recognize that not everyone you know is actually going to make it to that big ‘ol garden in the sky. You recognize that sometimes the people that you love the most don’t make it to where you want them to make it to. It’s sad and it hurts. But, no one really wants to acknowledge that it could even be possible because we want to believe the best and we want to believe that God wouldn’t be so unjust that He could just let someone we love die and yet they go to hell. But, He is JUST. He is righteous and whether we like it or not, we must come to terms with the fact that if someone does not know Jesus they may not have “earned their wings” or made it to Heaven where we so desperately want them to be, and that’s the part that hurts the most.
But, every now and then you have people who have passed that you know without a shadow of a doubt that they’ve made it, and as much as you want to say that you’re strong enough to rejoice that they are no longer suffering it still breaks your heart. Your heart mends a little each day, but there’s still a piece of it that breaks because those people are no longer with us. We can no longer experience the joy of hearing their voices, seeing them smile, listening to them laugh…and simply being in their presence. You miss that and eventually you begin to be afraid that you will no longer be able to recall the memories that you cherish and hold so dear because so much time has passed. You begin to worry that you’ll forget what their voice sounded like or the joy that permeated through their laughter even in the roughest times. But then you remember… you’ll see them again one day. One day you’ll hear their voice again, and one day you will be able to hold them in your arms and tell them how much you love them and how you so desperately MISSED THEM when they left this earth. So, as sad as I am… I rejoice in that. I pray that over time I can remember that when I think of those people that have since gone on to be with the Lord. I also pray that the others who didn’t know Him were given one last chance before they took their last breath…
As my heart cries I pick myself up by my bootstraps (figuratively speaking) and keep moving. I keep pressing forward because there is nothing I can do to bring them back and there is nothing I can do to erase the pain that I feel or that their family feels. You simply have to go on and do the very best that you can to truly enjoy every waking moment of your life because you only get one. So, make the best of it because we can never get these moments back. I pray that I make the most of the days that I have here on earth and that the legacy I leave behind for my children is remembered through their generations and they truly know how much I LOVE THEM, but more importantly how much HE loves them.
Angelina Vickers, Guest Blogger